Book Review: The Kazdin Method...

Have you ever wished you had a guidebook for your child? Thanks to Dr. Alan Kazdin, you can have the next best thing. As a parent, you will get a lot of (often unsolicited!) advice, much of it conflicting. It can be difficult to know who to listen to or what to do. You may find yourself trying all of it and getting more confused, and frustrated, in the process. It may start to seem like nothing works with your child.

If this sounds familiar, you're not alone. Even parents who seek professional advice may find themselves confused and frustrated by a lack of progress. The good news is that there is A LOT of research on how to manage childhood behavior problems and get your child's behavior on track. In this book, The Kazdin Method for Parenting the Defiant Child with No Pills, No Therapy, No Contest of Wills, Alan Kazdin, Ph.D. summarizes much of the research on effective parenting, explains why common parenting wisdom often fails, and provides parents with real-life examples and guidance for developing a behavior plan for their own child(ren).

Research consistently demonstrates that parent training is one of the most effective ways to manage childhood behavior (even outside of the home). Not only has it been proven to help parents teach their children to behave better, but also to improve the parent-child relationship, reduce parenting stress, and improve mental health for both parents and children. Even if your child is not overly defiant, the approach outlined in this book can help you manage common child behavior challenges with less frustration.

If you're looking for a proven method for managing your child's behavior that you can learn and implement from the comfort of your own home, this is the book for you. If you continue to have difficulty after trying this approach, or want additional guidance and support in implementing the method, look for a psychologist who is familiar with the technique.

For more information on parenting therapy, click here.

Children's Television Programming is Not Necessarily Child-Friendly

You like to think of yourself as a good, conscientious parent. You try to protect your child from the negative influences of the media. You don't allow your kids to play violent video games (or play these games in front of them) and you only allow them to watch television shows designed for children. You may even only watch adult television and movies after they go to bed. But if you think the television shows and movies your child is watching are safe choices because they're designed for children, you may want to think again.

Have you noticed that many children's programs today, even cartoons, seem more racy or advanced than programs of the past? I sure have. I've been borderline shocked at some of the things I've seen on shows supposedly meant for kids. Sometimes it almost seems as if they are written to keep parents interested instead of just children!

It's tempting to try to rationalize this as "just how things are now" or "obviously okay because they're kids shows." But think about who's writing these shows. Most of the time it's someone who is trying to sell programming, not necessarily someone who understands children's developmental needs.

Research shows that developmentally inappropriate shows are related to a variety of difficulties in children from increased aggression and violent behaviors to difficulty sleeping.  You may be shocked to learn that children are exposed to an average of 20-25 acts of violence per hour  on Saturday morning children's shows. Exposure to media violence (even in cartoons) has been repeatedly linked to increased aggression.

Growing up, I remember thinking it was weird when my brother, who's about three years younger than me, got nightmares from watching Scooby Doo. It turns out he wasn't so strange after all :) Cartoons such as Buggs Bunny, Scooby Doo, and Sponge Bob Square Pants have been linked to problems sleeping in preschoolers, but are much more acceptable for 8 or 9 year-olds. Sleeping problems have been associated with behavior problems, weight problems, and poor school performance.

So what can you do?

• Be aware of the content of the shows your child is watching and think about whether what is on the show really seems appropriate for their age. If you're unsure, you might want to skip that show.

• For children under five, choose shows that are geared toward very young children (think Sesame Street and Dora the Explorer). Even shows geared toward a slightly older age can cause problems.

• If you are concerned with your child's behavior or sleep patterns, consider switching them to younger programming.

• Sit with your child while they watch shows and discuss what you are seeing to help them understand and process it. If you see something you don't like, explain why it's problematic (e.g., "He was mad and he  hit her, but hitting is not a good way to solve problems. The right way to handle it is to use your words. What could he have said?")

• Realize that what is appropriate for your child might seem really boring to you!

For more information, check out the following links:

Children and media violence:  http://actagainstviolence.apa.org/mediaviolence/index.html’

Children's programming and sleep problems:  http://pedzzz.blogspot.com/2012/08/study-kids-who-watch-age-appropriate-tv.html

Parenting therapy page.

Book Review: "What to Do" Guides for Kids: What to Do When...

...your temper flares...your brain gets stuck...you dread your bed...you grumble too much...you worry too much...bad habits take hold.

"The What to Do" Guides are a series of books by psychologist Dr. Dawn Huebner for helping children deal with a variety of problems ranging from every day difficulties, like how to respond to anger, to diagnosable problems, like OCD.

Did you know that your body is like a car that you need to learn how to steer, worries are like tomatoes that grow when they're fed, and disappointments are like hurdles to be jumped? By the time you're done with these books, you will! Using these and other similarly accessible analogies, Dr. Huebner brings the concepts of cognitive behavioral therapy to life, making them easy to understand and fun to practice.

The first few chapters of each book explain the problem to be addressed and set the stage for starting to make changes. You'll notice that they do not force your child to take ownership of having a problem (which can be really threatening to kids--and many adults), but explain the problem in general terms and then ask the child to consider whether they (or other people they know) ever experience these problems. The explanations make it easy for most children to accept their difficulties and give them hope that they can improve. The following chapters teach new skills, usually one per chapter, and provide exercises to practice each skill.

If you do the exercises and practice them regularly, you'll notice a difference. Resist the temptation to read through the whole book at once with your child. Remember, lasting changes take time and practice. When I use these books in my practice, I start by either reading the first few chapters in session or having parents read them with their kids at home. After that, we work on about one new skill per week. If a family is struggling with a skill, we may stay on it for a few weeks until the new skill takes hold. In between learning new skills, children and parents are instructed to spend the week practicing each skill at home. (Be prepared, parents play a major role here.) If problems come up with practice, we discuss those in session.

These books are written for children between the ages of six and twelve to be read with their parents or another adult. The concepts may seem simple, but they're supported by tons of research demonstrating that they work. Cognitive behavioral therapy is one of the most researched types of therapy, and one of the most effective for many areas of difficulty. I highly recommend these books to both parents and other professionals who work with children.