Psychology Tip of the Day

Doing your best is not a reason to stop trying. It's possible to be doing your best and try to do better. With continued effort, your best can improve over time.

Psychology Tip of the Day

Progress is rarely a straight line. Today, try to focus on the progress you've made more than any setbacks you've experienced.

Psychology Tip of the Day

Mindfulness involves purposefully bringing attention to the present moment without judgment.

Today, find 5 minutes to intentionally be mindful of your breath.

How to Live a Miserable Life*

Photo by hannah k

How to Live a Miserable Life*

Happiness is overrated. Everywhere you turn there are books and articles about how to be happier. Why bother? What's the point? Happiness doesn't get you anywhere. It doesn't buy you anything. And nobody can be happy ALL the time anyway. Why not strive for a more realistic goal...misery. The following tips will help you live a truly miserable life.

Spend all of your time working. Go in early. Stay late. Eat at your desk. DON'T socialize. And don't even THINK about taking vacation time. If you've made the mistake of getting involved with a significant other, make sure they know that work will ALWAYS come first. When you are with them, make sure to check every e-mail that comes in (this should be set up on your phone), and drop whatever you are doing to respond immediately.

Set very high expectations for those around you and make sure to let them know whenever they have not met these expectations. Do this EVERY TIME, no matter how small the transgression. Don't bother telling them when they meet your expectations-they're just doing what they're supposed to. This goes for everyone you come into contact with, regardless of what their relationship is to you. If you have children they will probably always be grounded.

While you're at it, put everyone else's needs above your own at all times. Try holding yourself to the standard of making everyone else happy. If there's ANY way you can fill a request someone makes, find a way to do it. You may need to rearrange your schedule and give up on things like sleep and hobbies (if you've made the mistake of developing hobbies), but it's worth it. Don't forget to make sure you let others know how much you're going out of your way to do things for them and to remind yourself how ungrateful they are.

Accept nothing less than perfection. In fact, set high expectations for every aspect of your life and really focus on anything that falls short. All of the things that are wrong in your life should always be in the back of your mind, no matter what else you're doing. Never let down your guard or relax. If you're not having stressful or upsetting dreams, you're probably doing it wrong.

If you follow these tips, you'll be on your way to a miserable life in no time! If I forgot any important steps, you should make sure to let me know in the comments section. It's good practice.

*Recent research has shown that sarcasm is related to intelligence and creativity. This article was brought to you in the spirit of making you smarter and more creative :)

Psychology Tip of the Day

Progress is rarely a straight line. Today, try to focus on the progress you've made more than your setbacks.

Psychology Tip of the Day

Judgments are value labels, such as good/bad, right/wrong, and should/shouldn't. Judgments interfere with acceptance and progress. Today, try stepping away from judgment and focus on what is or is not working instead.

Psychology Tip of the Day

The first step to change is accepting what already is (remember yesterday's tip on acceptance). Today, practice accepting reality as it already exists.

Psychology Tip of the Day

Acceptance is not the same as agreement. It is possible accept reality without believing that it should be that way.

Anxiety in Youth

Anxiety in Youth

It seems that today’s children are experiencing problems with anxiety much more than children in the past. Anxiety can zap the joy from childhood and set children up for continued emotional difficulty in the future. Signs of anxiety in children can include:

• Insistence on perfection

• Avoidance of feared situations

• Seeking Excessive Reassurance

• Repetitive Behaviors

• Excessive Checking

• Difficulty with Decisions

• Frequent Somatic Complaints

• Easily Overwhelmed

• Sensitive to Criticism

• Irritability

• Uncontrollable fears, worry, or “what if’s”

• Difficulty sleeping

• Difficulty focusing in high-stress situations (mind “going blank”)

• Shutting down or melting down in the face of perceived pressure

Children can experience the same anxiety disorders as adults, but they may not always recognize the feeling of being worried or anxious. Some children may deny these feelings when they do recognize them. Children can, however, still benefit from therapeutic interventions.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is the preferred treatment for anxiety in children. CBT techniques that may be used include:

• Learning relaxation skills

• Positive self-talk

• Problem-solving skills

• Compartmentalizing worry

• Re-evaluating thoughts

-AND ULTIMATELY-

• FACING FEARS

Protecting children from their fears and continually reassuring them will only serve to strengthen their anxiety, but they should not be forced into feared situations without the proper tools. With help learning the right skills, children can learn to manage anxiety and enjoy their youth!

For more information on anxiety treatment, click here.

Improve Sleep with Autogenics

Improve Sleep with Autogenics

Not only is insomnia  frustrating when it happens, but it’s makes it more difficult to get through the following day. Lack of sleep can also compromise your immune system, making you more vulnerable to illness, and can increase stress hormones that lead to weight gain.

Insomnia can become a viscious cycle.  

You become afraid that you won’t be able to sleep, so you stress about not sleeping, which in turn makes it harder to sleep. These circumstances lead many people to turn to pills, which can have negative side-effects such as increased drowsiness the next day, increased appetite, and impaired memory.

Overall, the side-effect profile of most sleeping pills doesn’t sound much better than the effects of insomnia. If you'd like to sleep better without taking pills or supplements,  try autogenic training.

Autogenics is a form of relaxation that involves self-suggestion. In other words, you tell your body that it is relaxing, and it does. I’ve taught several relaxation techniques to individuals and groups, and this technique has been the top choice for most of them for improving sleep. It’s also the one I personally find to be the easiest to use and the most effective for helping me get to sleep. There are several autogenics scripts available, but this is the one I use:

Lay on your back, close your eyes, and get comfortable. Take several deep, slow breaths. Imagine the air going all the way to the bottom of your lungs. Your belly, not your chest, should rise and fall.

Tell yourself “I am completely relaxed and at peace.”

After a few deep breaths, say to yourself “my right arm is heavy.” Repeat this to yourself 3 times, slowly, pausing between each statement. As you pause, focus on the feeling of heaviness in your arm.

Repeat this sequence with the following statements:

• “MY LEFT ARM IS HEAVY”

• “BOTH OF MY ARMS ARE HEAVY”

• “MY RIGHT LEG IS HEAVY”

• “MY LEFT LEG IS HEAVY”

• “BOTH OF MY LEGS ARE HEAVY”

• “MY HEAD AND CHEST ARE HEAVY”

You should actually feel your arm, legs, head, and chest getting heavier. Some people find it helpful to imagine a weight pulling each body part down.

I usually fall asleep somewhere before the last statement, but if you get through all of these statements and are still awake, go through the statements again, this time telling yourself that each body part is warm (replace “heavy” with “warm”). Again, some people find it helpful to imagine something warm like the sun or a heating pad on each body part as they focus on it.

You can also add statements such as “my breath is slow and regular” or “my heartbeat is slow and regular.”

WARNING:  DO NOT try to FORCE yourself to feel heavy or warm. Instead, allow yourself to notice what happens when you tell yourself your body feels heavy, warm, etc. Some days you may feel more heaviness or warmth than others, and that’s ok. Just the calm repetition of these statements can help you relax. If you try to force it, you’ll just get more stressed.

Try it and let me know how it works!