Book Review: The Kazdin Method...

Have you ever wished you had a guidebook for your child? Thanks to Dr. Alan Kazdin, you can have the next best thing. As a parent, you will get a lot of (often unsolicited!) advice, much of it conflicting. It can be difficult to know who to listen to or what to do. You may find yourself trying all of it and getting more confused, and frustrated, in the process. It may start to seem like nothing works with your child.

If this sounds familiar, you're not alone. Even parents who seek professional advice may find themselves confused and frustrated by a lack of progress. The good news is that there is A LOT of research on how to manage childhood behavior problems and get your child's behavior on track. In this book, The Kazdin Method for Parenting the Defiant Child with No Pills, No Therapy, No Contest of Wills, Alan Kazdin, Ph.D. summarizes much of the research on effective parenting, explains why common parenting wisdom often fails, and provides parents with real-life examples and guidance for developing a behavior plan for their own child(ren).

Research consistently demonstrates that parent training is one of the most effective ways to manage childhood behavior (even outside of the home). Not only has it been proven to help parents teach their children to behave better, but also to improve the parent-child relationship, reduce parenting stress, and improve mental health for both parents and children. Even if your child is not overly defiant, the approach outlined in this book can help you manage common child behavior challenges with less frustration.

If you're looking for a proven method for managing your child's behavior that you can learn and implement from the comfort of your own home, this is the book for you. If you continue to have difficulty after trying this approach, or want additional guidance and support in implementing the method, look for a psychologist who is familiar with the technique.

For more information on parenting therapy, click here.

Book Review: "What to Do" Guides for Kids: What to Do When...

...your temper flares...your brain gets stuck...you dread your bed...you grumble too much...you worry too much...bad habits take hold.

"The What to Do" Guides are a series of books by psychologist Dr. Dawn Huebner for helping children deal with a variety of problems ranging from every day difficulties, like how to respond to anger, to diagnosable problems, like OCD.

Did you know that your body is like a car that you need to learn how to steer, worries are like tomatoes that grow when they're fed, and disappointments are like hurdles to be jumped? By the time you're done with these books, you will! Using these and other similarly accessible analogies, Dr. Huebner brings the concepts of cognitive behavioral therapy to life, making them easy to understand and fun to practice.

The first few chapters of each book explain the problem to be addressed and set the stage for starting to make changes. You'll notice that they do not force your child to take ownership of having a problem (which can be really threatening to kids--and many adults), but explain the problem in general terms and then ask the child to consider whether they (or other people they know) ever experience these problems. The explanations make it easy for most children to accept their difficulties and give them hope that they can improve. The following chapters teach new skills, usually one per chapter, and provide exercises to practice each skill.

If you do the exercises and practice them regularly, you'll notice a difference. Resist the temptation to read through the whole book at once with your child. Remember, lasting changes take time and practice. When I use these books in my practice, I start by either reading the first few chapters in session or having parents read them with their kids at home. After that, we work on about one new skill per week. If a family is struggling with a skill, we may stay on it for a few weeks until the new skill takes hold. In between learning new skills, children and parents are instructed to spend the week practicing each skill at home. (Be prepared, parents play a major role here.) If problems come up with practice, we discuss those in session.

These books are written for children between the ages of six and twelve to be read with their parents or another adult. The concepts may seem simple, but they're supported by tons of research demonstrating that they work. Cognitive behavioral therapy is one of the most researched types of therapy, and one of the most effective for many areas of difficulty. I highly recommend these books to both parents and other professionals who work with children.

Psychology Tip of the Day: Be Present

Have you ever noticed that your mind is rarely where you are? We're usually either thinking about what we've already done, what we plan to do, or what we wish we'd done differently. This can detract from truly experiencing your life, and can result in negative emotions. Try taking some time each day to be present in the moment. During this time, try to really focus on what you are doing. Notice all of the sensations you are experiencing. Try not to judge your experience. When you find your mind wandering, gently bring it back to the present. Try not to get frustrated by your wandering mind. Just notice it and move on. The more you practice, the less you'll find your mind wandering, and the easier it will be to be present in any given moment.

This practice, also known as mindfulness, can help you to feel more centered and help to manage negative emotions such as distress about the past or anxiety about the future. Research also shows that even short periods of daily mindfulness practice may lead to positive changes in brain structure. Click here for more information about how mindfulness positively impacts your brain and mental health.

For information on anxiety treatment, click here.

Psychology Tip of the Day: Let Go of Tension

Most people carry around more tension than they realize, which can lead to physical complaints such as headaches,  muscle aches, and difficulty sleeping. The neck, shoulders, and jaw are common areas of the body to hold tension. A few times a day, mentally scan your body for tension (paying particular attention to those areas that carry tension most often), and try to intentionally let go of any extra tension you're holding. Notice the difference in how you feel once the tension is released.

For more information on anxiety treatment, contact me.

Psychology Tip of the Day: Why do people see psychologists?

Seeing a psychologist doesn't mean you're "crazy" or mentally ill; it means that there are areas of your life you'd like to improve, and that you want professional advice from someone with specialized training about how to improve them.

For information on the areas I help people with, click here.